Arranging and Purchasing a Cremation and Memorials

Cremation fell out of favor with the Christian population in the early Middle Ages, but was later recommended on grounds of health and sanitation during the reign of Queen Victoria. A milestone was reached in 1963 when the Pope lifted the ban on cremation. In 1966, Catholic priests were allowed to officiate at Cremation ceremonies. Even today, religious practices like Islam, Orthodox Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Parsees and Greek Orthodox Christianity forbid the practice of cremation. It has been the usual method of disposal of the dead among Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Calvinists, Liberal Jews, Roman Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons and Methodists, to name a few.

Arranging a cremation:
You have to inform the funeral director and instruct him that you will be following a cremation service. The funeral director will be fully conversant with all the formalities and will obtain the necessary forms, which will also contain a letter of authorization from a near relative stating the desire to cremate the deceased. The funeral director will notify the crematorium of the date and time. You will also have to inform the crematorium how you wish to dispose of the cremation ashes.

Cost:
Normally, cremation costs up to a third less than a burial as there is no headstone or grave to be purchased. The funeral director’s charges are usually the same for both services. A typical funeral can cost $6,000 compared to $1200 for a cremation and service. Caskets typically start at about $2,000 for an economy model and quickly rise from there. Be sure and shop around online. If you purchase a casket from the funeral home you will most likely pay twice or more for the same coffin online. Cremation urns vary dramatically in price from a low of $100 to thousands of dollars. But a typical purchase would be $100 to $500 online.

The ceremony:
The service is the same as burial and it may take place in one’s own church or in a crematorium chapel. The form of the service can be adapted to suit one’s own desires and the charges will depend on the services rendered and the time needed. The body is brought in a coffin and the coffin usually remains in view for mourners to pay their respects. After the service, the coffin is withdrawn into a room where it is labeled with all the relevant information. This label stays with the coffin until the final disposal of the remains. After the service, the body is taken in the coffin to be cremated. Almost without exception, the body is cremated along with the coffin. Once the cremation is over, the ashes are removed and cooled in a tray. This is then placed in an urn and permitted to be strewn. The remains that are in the urn are cindered to a fine white ash.

Memorials:
Christian churches have a separate section, usually referred to as Gardens of Remembrances, which is set aside for the disposal of cremated remains. Ashes are strewn or buried here, but no area can be reserved by any one person. Some crematoriums have secured niches that hold the urns containing the ashes. These are available on a rental basis. If the rent is not paid on time, the ashes will be buried or strewn. Some families also dispose of the ashes in a family grave or strew them at a favorite spot. Sometimes, areas of religious significance are picked up to hold the ashes. However it is important to obtain permission before one can dispose of the ashes in other places. If you so desire, you may also keep the ashes with you.

Cremation Urns:
The increase in the number of people choosing cremation is also reflected in the sales of cremation urns. Traditional urns are wood cremation urns and cast bronze urns or spun metal urns. But, increasingly people are opting for customized cremation urns that better reflect the life of the person or pet they memorialize.

As with any memorial, people are beginning to place sculpted cremation urns and other artistic funeral urns at home, either in the garden or as art in the home.

If you wish, some crematoriums will allow you to dedicate a garden item or a small plaque for a limited period on payment. Some also accept donations in the form of physical objects like stained glass, seats and other items. Such items will hold a small inscription of the deceased. Enquire with the funeral director regarding memorial facilities available at your crematorium. The staff at the crematorium will also be happy to assist with any information you may need.

Memorial Urns offers a wide selection of funeral urns and keepsakes, and memorial jewelry for humans and their pets. Find out more about memorializing your loved one at http://www.memorial-urns.com.

The Importance of Memorials in the Grieving Process

“You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”
- Kahlil Gibran

Death comes knocking on every door, and we have no choice but to mourn silently while life passes away. The possibility of death is always with us. But in our rush to glorify the living, we turn a blind eye towards death. That is why we are so unprepared when death finally finds us – through someone we love, or in the course of our own journey.

One of the most painful things about death is that it is like a door, beyond which we have never seen. No one knows what happens on the other side, or if there is another side even. All we can do is stand on this side of the solemn door and wonder. It is because of this inconclusive nature of Death that most of us find it hard to accept it. If only we could know for certain that our dear ones are taken care of, that there is no pain any more, that there is a return to life, that we shall meet again.

One way to handle grief is to understand it. Another way to cope is to philosophize it. Reading books helps us do both. When we read about other people in grief, we discover that we are not alone and that what we are feeling is nothing new. It somehow helps take the edge out of the pang to know that others have traveled the same road before you. We also begin to see that there is a Grand Plan in life that cannot be defeated or postponed.

Suggested readings:
“I Can’t Stop Crying; It’s So Hard When Someone You Love Dies” – John D. Martin, Frank D. Ferris, Robert Buckman
Written by professionals dealing with death, loss and grief, this book is an invaluable reference book for those facing a crisis. The book contains practical examples that show the effect of grief on inter-personal relationships. It also explains the process of grieving and makes people understand that they have every right to feel whatever they do – be it anger, sadness or hopelessness. It even tells you how to ‘break’ the sad news upon other people and help them during those immediate hours of need.

“On Death and Dying” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
According to one reader, only two groups of people need not read this masterpiece – those that are not mortal, and those that cannot read. For every one else (that’s you and me), this book is a must-read. The main aim of the book is to ‘sensitize family members of terminally ill patients to the implicit communications of dying patients’. The interviews given in the book are, in the most part, by people who are facing death. After reading this book, you may begin to see that although death is not be a happy subject, it needn’t be a dark and menacing mystery any more.

“Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving Hold Fast and Let Go” – Molly Fumia.
The words of comfort offered in this book move the reader through the rough and raw emotions of pain, anger, guilt and hopelessness to acceptance and transformation. The book consists of short meditations that help you deal with and understand the various stages of grief. This book has been used by many as a mainstay of their lives when they were going through intense pain and loss.

“You Can Help Someone Who’s Grieving” – Victoria Frigo, Diane Fisher and Mary Lou Cook.
Filled with common sense advice on how to help a grieving friend, it addresses the problem of helping a friend through the grieving process. It clearly states why we feel so uncomfortable dealing with grief and comes out with practical suggestions on how to help.

Memorial Urns provides products and information that help people move forward after their loss. Please visit http://www.memorial-urns.com for affordable cremation urns and memorial gifts.

51 Billion Dollar Industry

51 Billion Dollars and rising! Sounds like a company a wise investor should invest in. After all, having a piece of a 51 billion dollar industry is an exciting prospect, filled with anticipation for the future right? Not this time. This industry takes away any hope for the future. Any promise of potential greatness is dashed to the ground, becoming ashes and dust when people continue to invest in this business.

Warnings have been issued over the years advising people to avoid investing in this global industry. Still people chose to purchase the stock – some one share at a time, others in large quantities. Each time they invest even one dollar into this corporation, they participate in destroying their own lives as well as the dreams and aspirations of others. Family and friends are even forced into the role of unwitting participants.

The government has taken a stand, as well as various groups around the globe, making it harder for people to invest in this corporation. Still people chose to disregard the signs that will eventually lead to their own demise. They continue their dangerous path of destruction. Why? Why do well educated human beings choose a pathway that is known to cause heartache and utter despair in order to be part of 51 billion dollar industry?

Doesn’t this elusive business have enough of our hard earned money? As well as our personal blood, sweat and tears? I’m sure you’re probably wondering to yourselves “What industry can she possibly be writing about?” Perhaps you would like to know if you have somehow missed the hundreds of warnings that are issued each year about this industry. Well here is the answer: Have you ever gotten behind the wheel of a vehicle with any alcohol, even one drink in your system? If you have, then you have invested in the 51 billion dollar club.

It is estimated that each year 51 billion dollars is spent on alcohol related crashes. During 2003 (NHTSA 2004a), 17,013 deaths occurred in the U.S. alone because of alcohol impaired drivers. 2,136 of those deaths were children under the age of 14. These investors have killed the future. This represents nearly

Why Do We Experience Grief?

Everyone is familiar with feelings of grief. These feelings range from mild, momentary unhappiness to feelings of intense and acute emotional suffering that take a long time to heal. These feelings can be caused by disappointment, discouragement, frustration, trouble, difficulty, a sense of futility, deep regret or some specific loss, disaster, misfortune, accident, or mishap.

Grief is characterized by symptoms such as low spirits, feelings of unhappiness, discouragement, anger, brooding despondency, depression, and intense emotional anguish. Grief affects us in many different ways:

Physically: My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food. Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones.
Psalm 102:4-5 NIV

Mentally: “I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.” Job 3:26

Emotionally: Why do you always forget us? Why do you forsake us so long? Lamentations 5:20 NIV
Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy? Job 13:24 NIV

Spiritually: My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Psalm 6:3 NIV

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. Psalm 22:1-2 NIV

Mourning is the expression of grief. It is the process in which we try to make sense of our pain and suffering and reconcile our past experiences, knowledge, faith and beliefs with what we’re experiencing. It is looking for hope where there doesn’t appear to be any.

It is the struggle to regain a sense of well-being after having our world, our lives, our minds and hearts turned upside down and inside out.

I believe that if we can reconcile our experiences of pain and sorrow, grief and mourning with our Creator and Savior’s loving nature and purposes for our lives, that will bring healing and restoration to our whole person-body, soul and mind.

Why do we experience suffering and loss and death and all kinds of other hurtful things that cause us to grieve?

The most basic explanation is that God never intended for us to experience suffering or death. That may be why we react to them the way we do.

Disobedience and nonconformity to God’s perfect standards introduced these painful things into the perfect world God made and the blessed lives He envisioned for us.

GOD said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?”

“The serpent seduced me,” she said, “and I ate.”

GOD told the serpent: “Because you’ve done this, you’re cursed, cursed beyond all cattle and wild animals, Cursed to slink on your belly and eat dirt all your life. I’m declaring war between you and the Woman, between your offspring and hers. He’ll wound your head, you’ll wound his heel.”

He told the Woman: “I’ll multiply your pains in childbirth; you’ll give birth to your babies in pain. You’ll want to please your husband, but he’ll lord it over you.”

He told the Man: “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree That I commanded you not to eat from, ‘Don’t eat from this tree,’ The very ground is cursed because of you; getting food from the ground Will be as painful as having babies is for your wife; you’ll be working in pain all your life long. The ground will sprout thorns and weeds, you’ll get your food the hard way, Planting and tilling and harvesting, sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk, Until you return to that ground yourself, dead and buried; you started out as dirt, you’ll end up dirt.” Genesis 3:13-19 MSG

How do we cope with events and experiences that bring on the unpleasant, painful, sometimes debilitating emotions of grief?

We begin by simply trusting God’s good name and holy character, that His intentions for us are always good.

The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. Psalm 145:9 NIV

Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow. Lamentations 3:32-33 NLT

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20 NIV

We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. They are ones God has chosen for his purpose, Romans 8:28 CEV

Then we cling to God’s promise that one day He will release us from pain and suffering when He restores us and the rest of His creation to His original design and purpose.

Against its will, everything on earth was subjected to God’s curse. All creation anticipates the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us. Romans 8:20-23 NLT

Remember your promise to me, for it is my only hope. Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles. Psalm 119:49-50 NLT

Sharon Young is a dedicated mom and wife with a deep desire to discover who God is and how to navigate this life guided by His truth.

Mourning Glory – A Devotional for Grieving is a book for those struggling through a loss and looking for support and comfort. http://www.amourningdevotional.com

Knowledge of Gods Love

It is both a wonderful and terrible aspect of God’s love that when we lose someone we love, the deep pain we feel can draw us closer to God, the author of life and death. As Christians all our relationships are a triangle, with one another and God at the head. Our deepest selves are connected to one another and to God because it is in him we live and love and have our true being.

For in him (God) we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ Acts 17:28

It is natural to grieve the loss of someone we love, and God not only does not deny us our grief, he tells us in Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.” What this means is that God calls you in your grief to enter more deeply into communion, communication and relationship to him so that he can lift you on wings of angels through the grief process.

One might ask if this makes the grief process easier, lighter, less intense even. I don’t think so. By no means, as Saint Paul would say. God calls us to more deeply examine the powers and attributes which make our lives and our relationships worth the earthly journey.

We can begin to study the nature of love, of forgiveness, of solace, of sorrow, of joy, of joy in the midst of grief, of silence, of oneness within ourselves, with others, with others lost, with our precious Lord, to experience a new wholeness and holiness in our Lord Jesus. For we are not lost to each other. We will meet again, dance and sing and feast, banquet with our Lord at our marriage supper as at the wedding of Cana.

If our love of the other person who died is deep enough we may even feel we cannot live without them. In this case only God can relieve our pain. It is just by drawing near to him that we can experience solace, a healing and restorative solace, that can put us back on the path of life and more than that a fulfilling life. The greater our sense of loss may well mean the greater our closeness to God, our willingness to let him enter our pain and heal because we so need him. It is a time to build trust and to come to believe and to surrender to a God who will deliver us out of all our afflictions. The grief process can reveal more fully than at other times the God who is enough and more than enough.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17,18

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

With the loss of each person, each reliance temporary and earthly or final and eternal, we come to an end, and what must we do just to survive, to keep on living? We must begin a new journey, take a new risk, follow a different and unknown path. Boy, these are all my favorite things! Right? No, wrong! These are the things I fear, almost to the point of dread, the very most in my sojourn here. Will it be an adventure? Will it call me toward the God whose love is an unbounded and timeless consuming fire? Will the grief shake me and root up and out all the earthly things which keep me from him; keep me clinging to anything I can recognize, touch, see or feel; keep me supported, restrained and even melded into this world? Yes is the answer, I think, to all of these questions.

“Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken that is, created things so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Hebrews 12:26,27

Do we have a choice about this new journey into grief? Yes, we always have choices. So why should I make the choice to cede my grief process to God when I am sheered of the wool of the presence, the comfort and love of the person or thing whose loss I have suffered?

Because it is in my nakedness, in my vulnerability, in my birth into grief that the Lord can show me, can teach me, can inculcate into me, can impress upon me like a seal my true and eternal self in him. My grief can be my door to forever with my precious Lord and Savior, Jesus.

For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Romans 14:7,8.

Diana Burg is an author with several books. She writes novels, short stories, plays, screenplays and poetry. Her passion is writing.

Mourning Glory – A Devotional for Grieving is a book for those struggling through a loss and looking for support and comfort. http://www.amourningdevotional.com