MySpace: How to Create a Safe Online Profile

Recent headlines are shocking and horrifying parent’s young adults are getting sucked into the mySpace trend and forgetting the “Don’t take Candy from Strangers” rule that has been instilled in their minds since kindergarten. Teens are disappearing because they are careless, and there’s not much adults can do about it. At a time when every abduction story is more tragic than the last, it is important to remember some simple steps to create a secure account on mySpace and similar sites.

The mySpace frenzy began a few years ago and has recently exploded in popularity. On this site,mySpace.com, users sign up for a free online profile to network with friends. Each profile has space for the user to upload 12 pictures, list favorite musicians and movies, and keep a blog. In addition, people who are friends with the user can leave comments. When signing up, mySpace provides a questionnaire for users to fill out age, location, relationship status, income, and much more. Although users can choose to fill out as little or as much of this as they want, most users simply complete the entire questionnaire in hopes that it will attract more friends.

After all, the goal of many mySpacers is to attract friends (other users on the site who find their profile attractive). This may be a real-life friend from school or someone thousands of miles away who found you randomly when surfing the site. Countless website outside of the mySpace community are devoted to layouts, icons, and special features users can add to their sites to make it shine and lure more of these random friends.

The danger comes when teens get so caught up with drawing in new friends that they start adding more and more personal information to their profiles. It is also popular for younger users to lie about age, since mySpace users are technically supposed to be 16. Officials from mySpace, which has millions of users in its network and is growing larger every day, simply can’t traffic the entire site for kids who are blatantly lying.

And along with a more grown-up age comes more grown-up pictures. Girls as young as 13 and 14 are taking provocative pictures to entice boys to their sites a seemingly harmless practice that is actually very dangers. mySpace is becoming a marketplace for child predators who simply take advantage of the free service to find a new victim.

MySpace was never intended to be a teenage dating service, and its advantages still outweigh the disadvantages. For example, high school friends can use mySpace to keep in touch during college. New and upcoming bands can make a music page to promote their latest CDs and reach fans from around the world. Businesses can network to find better employees, and freelance artists can collaborate with one another. In short, mySpace has many advantages.

There are many things users can do to keep themselves away from dangerous predators. As more parents are cracking down on the use of social networking, sites like mySpace are becoming safer, not because the program has changed, but because their users are educated. The following tips should be used to ensure your profile is guarded from would-be abductors:

1. Set your profile to “private.” This feature on mySpace only allows other users to see your first picture, username, and location if they want to see more, you have to grant them permission by accepting them as a friend. This is inconvenient for users who want to network, but a good choice for you if you simply want to keep in touch with a few friends. Remember that your profile is private for a reason. You can list as much personal information on a private profile as you want, but then don’t turn around and accept people you don’t know as your friends.

2. Keep your location broad. Some users say they’re from a specific country; others feel OK listing a certain state. Even a large city, such as New York or Chicago, might be fine. However, never give out your street address unless your profile is set to private. Phone numbers are also a no-no.

3. Be selective with your photographs. When you’re a young adult with the opportunity to post 12 pictures online for free, you grab that chance to put up snapshots of you and your best friends. Be careful. If you’re pictured seductively or doing risky behavior such as drinking alcohol, predators might see you as an easy target. Also, take notice of the background in your photographs. It doesn’t matter that you don’t list your location if there’s a road sign in the background of one of your pictures that gives it away.

4. Watch the details. Be careful with how you use your free space. For example, school spirit is a great thing, but when you cheer on your team, you give predators an idea about where to find you. Other things to consider before you post: clubs/restaurants/bars that are unique to your hometown, listing local bands among your favorite musicians, and giving out names of friends and family members in your blog or as picture captions.

5. Stay on a first-name basis. Giving out your full name might not seem like such a big risk, but web-savvy users can find out information about you this way on sites other than mySpace. Government records and other pieces of information are posted on Internet databases for people to use for a subscription price, and some predators will stop at no cost to find you.

6. Say no to Trackers. One of the more recent crazes on mySpace has been; profile trackers. These tools are installed on your computer to show you who has been looking at your profile. It’s a nifty device, but it comes for a price while the program is spying on your friends, it is also spying on you. Not all of these programs are bad, but many install spyware onto your computer as you download them, putting you at risk for identity theft. Unless you know a lot about computer programming and can pick out the bad trackers, stay away from them altogether.

7. Talk to your friends. If you want to keep your profile safe, you have to encourage others to do so as well. Just as friends can easily network, so can the bad guys if your best friend gives out her street address, it won’t be hard to put two and two together and figure out where you live as well.

MySpace is inarguably a valuable tool and a great way to have fun chatting with people from around the world. The important thing is to use common sense the Internet isn’t as secure or safe as many people imagine. A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t give out the information to someone you just met at a club, don’t give it out online either. Spread the word’s time to make mySpace a safe space.

Bill Wardell Is the Senior Editor/Creator/Developer of Online Security Authority, the Author of “Don’t Take Candy From Strangers” and a Authority Site Center Certified Coach. Speaker and Radio Show Host, Publisher, Researcher and National Radio Guest! http://www.onlinesecurityauthority.com/

How Do I Block MySpace?

How do I block mySpace and similar websites? There are many ways to accomplish this task, but first lets find out if you really want to completely block sites like these or if want to restrict access by children, or allow teens access and monitor their online behavior.

The latter choice/option being the preferred way to go. You know as well as I do, if you make restrictions on teens or you stop them from doing something as a form of punishment they will find a way to undermine your authority. They will find a way or sneak online somewhere else. And the possible outcome could be very tragic.

Another option to help teens, is by becoming an active partner in the mySpace craze. Make your own profile find out what all the excitement is about and show them how you would surf and add friends and why you as a parent would also want to make correct choices and be safe (adults need to be safe also). Teach them how to use common sense and show each of your children the proper way to enjoy the Internet. It’s a great teaching moment! Manage your child’s computer time with Parental Control Software packages!

Option # 1:
Source Code can be used to prevent objectionable websites but, there are some limitation. Also (you’ll need to know how to do some minor programming) but it’s simple enough, just follow the directions.

Option # 2:
Monitoring Software can be used to monitor online activity by using software to Record Emails, Chats, IMs, Web Sites, Programs Run, Keystrokes Typed, Peer to Peer File Sharing, Screen Snapshots - Plus - Offers Internet Access Blocking and Instant Notification Alerts.

Option # 3:
Blocking Software might be a Wise Choice that will protect your children, by completely blocking their use of objectionable websites. The software may also block some sites that could be used for homework.

Option # 4:
Logging Software monitors and logs all keystrokes while your children are online.

Blocking, monitoring, and logging what’s the difference?

A blocking program has the ability to automatically block most inappropriate sites. Most blocking programs along with their automatic blocking, will allow you to specify which sites you want blocked and which sites you want to allow. They should all be password protected to keep the kids out. Most blockers work well, although, the downside is that some can be a bit too restrictive.

For instance, CYBERsitter (one of the most used) would never allow kids to upload pictures to their boards. Granted, this isn’t necessarily bad, but when given the ok, a child expects to be able to upload their photo(s), and expect CYBERsitter to allow them to upload. However, it won’t allow it, you’ll have to manually disable it and wait for them to finish, and then re-enable the software.

A monitoring program monitors web sites visited, applications used on the computer, like MSword or a game. Most monitoring programs also have a blocking function.

A logging program or key logger as they are called, simply logs all keystrokes made on your computer. Most, will also log incoming chat sessions and email. These programs, as far as I am concerned, are a must if you have kids chatting and using email. They will not stop bad things from happening, but they will log exactly what was said and when.

Please take an active roll with your children no matter what choice you make as far blocking or not blocking Internet access. Show your children you care about what they do online, as well as in school, sports, hobbies, and friends.

Each option covers different levels of security. If you follow the advice that is provided on each option, you are going to greatly improve and enjoy your experiences online and your children will too. Keep your children safe.

Bill Wardell Is the Senior Editor/Creator/Developer of Online Security Authority, the Author of “Don’t Take Candy From Strangers” and a Authority Site Center Certified Coach. Speaker and Radio Show Host, Publisher, Researcher and National Radio Guest! http://www.onlinesecurityauthority.com/

How Your Actions Affect Your Teen’s Body Image

Today’s society places emphasis on the outward appearance of our bodies more than ever before. Our society places a high value on the idea of being impossibly thin. A recent study has shown that the majority of the models we see in print ads and on TV are actually thinner than 98% of most of the women and young girls in the United States.

This is very ironic considering that our society is also one in which food is made to be delivered fast and in large quantities. It is no wonder that so many young women and girls in their early teens are confused about how their body should look.

If you turn on the TV you will notice all the incredibly thin females who are made out to be the perfect female on commercials touting everything from make up to automobiles. Then you’ll see another commercial, which is for some type of fast food, urging you to double the size of your order, even though the kid’s meal will fill the stomachs of most adults.

Parents have a larger role then they think they do in how their children view their own bodies. Parents can influence a teen by using not only words, but also through body language. Your glances and gestures can influence a child negatively whether or not you mean for them to be negative. It is therefore advised that when you speak to a teen about eating or about weight issues in general be careful in the type of body language that you use. Each action or gesture, including facial expressions that we make, carries a message of its own. When talking to your teen about healthy eating or possible weight issues, be certain that you are conscious of the facial expressions and gestures that you are using.

How you discuss your own body in front of your children will influence how they feel about their own bodies. By speaking of your body in a negative way it is possible for your child to view their own body in a negative way, especially if you have certain traits in common with your child. Rather than saying how fat you feel, just say that you think you would feel better and have more energy if you began an exercise program. Talking about your body in this manner puts a positive spin that outweighs the negative aspect that you are speaking of.

If there’s something about your body that bothers you do not try to hide it under baggy clothes and say that it is taken care of. It is far better for you to admit that you have a problem area with your body and take the proper action to get it under control rather than to teach your young teen to hide a particular part of their body. Hiding a part of their body will teach a teen to be ashamed of that part of their body, and could cause the child to have self image issues which can follow them into adulthood.

It is no secret how we perceive our bodies, as by our body language and casual conversation we let those around us know exactly how we feel about our body image. It is for this reason that while we are around our children we should try to maintain a level of positive words and actions about our bodies.

Although teens pretend to tune parents out, they actually tune into our actions and mimic our good and bad habits. We can often give teens their best advise by not saying anything but by acting as role models. The way you eat, exercise and spend your free time will influence your teen. By having them grow up in an atmosphere of healthy eating, good body image and regular fitness will be the best lesson of all.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development. http://www.my-personal-growth.com

You’re Killing Your Child’s Chances For Success In School

I know for a fact that students in my classes don’t have to improve their memory. They tell me the details of their video games or their favorite sports teams without even stopping to think.

Yet, they can’t seem to remember information for tests and quizzes. A coincidence? Do they have to improve their memory? I don’t think so.

To get to the root of the problem, it’s necessary to see what happens when a student struggles. Normally, the parents are called and a parent teacher conference is scheduled.

In those conferences, parents say that a lot of interesting things. In terms of memory ability, it seems parents struggled (and continue to struggle) with memory issues. They point out that they themselves had the same trouble their child is having so they’re not surprised at the results. Disappointed, concerned, but not surprised.

When I hear that, I immediately think of the conversation that has probably gone on at home since elementary school.

Child: “Mom, Dad, I didn’t do so well on this test. I keep forgetting stuff.”

Mom: “I had a terrible memory, also. I guess it’s in the family. Your father could never remember, either.”

So what does your child begin to think after a while? It’s probably something like this: “Why try to study? It’s a done deal. It’s in the genes.”

The trap is set and your child falls into it. An occassional test comes back with a good grade but the overall picture is bleak. You see, the good grade was lucky. The bad grades are the norm. And your child never realizes that it’s possible to learn memory skills.

But wait! Your child doesn’t have to worry about improving their memory. They remember sports, movies, TV shows and video games. What’s the deal?

I know what you’re going to say. “He’s interested in those things. Of course, he can remember!”

Well, that’s a great first step. His memory is working fine. It’s just school work that he doesn’t remember.

Let’s look at four things you can do today to turn that around.

Here they are:

1 - Start from the premise that your child’s ability to remember information is fine. Once you do that, you can change the way you talk about poor grades and memorizing. As we’ve just seen, it’s more a question of interest than it is ability.

2 - Learn about memory strategies. Your job is to help your child find ways to make learning. storing and retrieving information more interesting. You can discover dozens of ways to look at information, put it into a form that’s easily filed and then easily recalled. And the style you choose can fit your child’s preferred learning style.

3 - Encourage your child. Tell them they can do well. Help them to understand the process of learning. Everyone does it the same way: You find ways to look at material that work for you, not your friend or your neighbor. Maybe you learn with pictures, maybe you like to listen or maybe you like to get up and move. Success depends on finding your style and using it.

4 - Don’t expect miracles overnight. Like all new habits, there is a period of adjustment where you won’t see much change. Don’t stop! You can help your child learn more easily if you just take it slow and easy. Think of it like watering a plant. You give enough water each day and then you let it be. Over time, the plant grows. You can’t explain why but it does. Your child will develop better habits the same way.

So, there you go. Change your habits and you can change your child’s path to success. Memory skills are just one area you need to look at. Just remember. It begins with you.

Jim Sarris is the author of Memory Skills Made Easy, a resource that helps students of any age remember more of what they study. For a free report on why your child has trouble remembering information, visit http://www.MemorySkillsMadeEasy.com.

Building Strong Communication Between Parents and Teens

Communication is difficult to maintain as your child reaches the adolescent years but this is the most important time to keep the lines of communication open and strong. So what can you as a parent of a teenager do to make sure you don’t lose this all important connection between you and your teen? Here are a few helpful hints you can use to make sure that when you do communicate with your child that you don’t end up doing more harm than good.

First off, it’s important to let your teen know that you’re interested in what they have to say. You can communicate this by your eye contact, body language and your voice inflection. In other words how you speak and how you listen are way more important than the words you use. Now you might find this hard to believe but it actually is true. Yes, those who study the way we communicate say that over 90% of our nonverbal behavior such as our facial expressions, body position, eye contact and tone of our voice determines not only how well our message is received but what message will be received. That leaves less than 10% that goes toward the actual words that we use.

Just think of the implications of these figures when having a conversation with your teenager. If you’re telling Johnny that you’re listening and care about what he has to say while at the same time writing your bills, answering the phone or waving and saying hello to the neighbor across the yard, do you think he’s going to believe your words? Or what about telling your teen daughter that you value her opinion while rolling your eyes and shaking your head sideways with your hands on your hips? What message do you think will actually get across to your teen?

Now, if you really are concerned about keeping the communication between you and your adolescent healthy and strong try out these tips for better communication.

Pay Attention To Nonverbal Communication
Remember, the words you say are not as important as how you say them. Keep this in your mind at all times while communicating with your teen and your conversations should vastly improve with this one tip alone.

Remove Yourself From Distractions
The next most important thing you can do is remove yourself from other distractions when having a conversation with your teen. Don’t answer the phone, stop whatever chore your doing at the time, turn off the TV and look directly at your teenager while the two of you talk and have a real conversation. This let’s them know that they are important enough for you to devote your time and focus to them and what they have to say.

Pay Attention To Eye Contact
Use eye contact effectively. Don’t stare constantly as they will end up thinking you are trying to find out something and they will feel uncomfortable and want to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Just look at them naturally while they speak or even while you’re speaking and look away occasionally for a moment and then look back again.

Watch Your Body Language
Watch those body movements that send the wrong message to your teenager. Control the eye rolling, hands on hips, stern jaw, crossed arms or other body behavior that may be sending a message that you really didn’t intend to send. These can break down the lines of communication faster than anything else.

It does takes effort on your part to make sure the communication between you and your adolescent goes smoothly and remains strong throughout the teen years. Just continue to always show interest and respect for your teen and you will be pleasantly surprised by the response you receive in return. When your teenager knows you are truly listening they are more apt to turn to you in their times of need. What more could you want?

Marsha Beslic M.S. is a licensed therapist and parenting coach with 20 years experience. Her goal is to help families work through difficult times so they can return to the happier moments of family life. Visit http://www.troubledteensolutions.com for a free “Teen Parenting Guide.”

An Overview On Parenting Teens

Parenting teens is a tough aspect of parenting and represents for many parents the ultimate test. This is the time when the rubber hits the road as a parent, as all of the challenges that were merely child’s play during infancy or during the toddler stage are not full blown battlegrounds. The ideologies of teenage life and parental wisdom seem destined to clash, making parenting teens a veritable nightmare for many parents.

Teen parenting differs from child parenting in many ways. Child parenting tends to focus on some of the more simplistic issues in life. Teaching kids to read, while not necessarily easy, is one example of a simpler issue in raising kids.

Once that child grows up into a teenager, however, his or her hormones take over and raising teens becomes a full-time job that calls back memories of earlier days of waking in the middle of the night and worrying constantly. While it is known that no parent stops worrying about his or her child, it is also known that the sense of worry for a parent is no greater than when parenting teens.

Learning about parenting skills is a great way to get in touch with some of the information needed for raising teens. Parenting teens can be tough enough without education or information, but learning about raising a teenager can help alleviate some of that difficulty.

As parents band together, they become more confident in the skills that they can exercise. When a parent is faced with complicated issues dealing with parenting teens, he or she can now face those issues with confidence and their newly learned skills.

Many teen raising magazines offer some great advice on parenting teens. This way of learning about raising teens is a great way to get connected with some expert advice and learn more about some of the fundamentals of raising teens.

Through the help of parenting magazines, many parents find that raising their teen becomes a whole lot easier and eliminates a lot of the natural stress. Others find comfortable networks of support within these magazines, enabling them to face each day with renewed confidence that prepares them for the challenges ahead.

Parenting teens can take a hefty price from the hearts and souls of many a parent. Spending the night pacing the floor waiting for headlights, or wondering what on earth the teen is up to are common events when it comes to raising teens. The energy it takes can seem unfathomable, but it simply must be gathered if raising teens is to take place with any degree of success.

Regardless of the method, the love of a parent for a teen is unquestionable. This love, however, is often not enough to deal with some of the hurdles that a teen can face in his or her life. Without a solid network of help and support, parenting teens becomes a complicated job that causes endless hours of stress and concern for even the hardiest of parent.

Many parents decide to “go it alone” and take on the responsibilities of raising a teen by themselves. Thankfully, many more parents charged with parenting teens learn that the hardest job in the world cannot be done without the help, education and assistance that can be found virtually anywhere.

Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our teenage parenting portal at http://teenageparenting.mynicherecommends.com/ for more great tips on parenting teens, and leave a comment at our blog at http://www.mynicheportal.com/family/.

Be An Expert On Your Teenager!

Raising children isn’t easy. If anyone told you it was, they were lying. That said, the process doesn’t have to be impossible - even with adolescents. Children are fantastic gifts that make each day a wonderful surprise, but just like every other person on the planet, children have their good days and their bad ones, too.

When it comes to adolescents, the rules of the road seem to be in a constant state of flux. What was acceptable to them yesterday isn’t today. Their moods swing more erratically than a pendulum on a roller coaster ride. So, what’s a parent of an adolescent to do?

Think back to the tumultuous toddler days, that’s what! Just like a toddler who was constantly testing boundaries and striving for freedom while still too scared to break away, your adolescent, too, is facing the same challenges. The only difference is that this time your child has a strong vocabulary, one that can bite at times.

Just as it is with raising toddlers, the rules of the road for adolescents are very much the same. Some of the most effective parenting of adolescents involves a similar approach. This means giving them enough space to explore, without letting them touch the hot stove. Let your adolescent children have enough room to figure out who they are without your letting go entirely.

Of course, that sounds a whole lot easier than it is. Raising adolescents is a one-day-a-time job. Keys to raising adolescents (and toddlers) include:

* Laying out strong ground rules. Make certain your adolescents know what is acceptable and what is not. Make sure your rules are enforced fairly, and consistently. Just like toddlers, adolescents will look for ways around the rules and test your willingness to enforce them. State up front what will happen if they are late, for example, and make that punishment stick. Be fair, however. The punishment should fit the crime.

* Allow them to explore. Just as you allowed your toddler to take a few steps away from you without panic, you need to do the same with your adolescent. Children in the adolescent years are in an awkward stages, they’re not children any longer, nor are they adults. They need to find their own path, and hopefully a good one. If you don’t allow them to explore with interests, hobbies and even friends, they won’t find their way.

* Be involved. Adolescents like to act like they don’t need their parents any longer, but this is a ruse. Don’t believe it. Get involved. Know what they’re doing, who they’re doing it with and where. Find out what they’re interested in, pay attention to their school work, get involved in their schooling. The more involved you are, the better. But remember, it’s important to strike a bit of a balance. Trust them to make choices, too.

* Be consistent. Carry through on your promises and lead by example. The more active you are in their lives and the more you stick with your word, the better.

Adolescents don’t come with a set of instructions and while they’re bigger, they are still children. This means they need you, even if they say they don’t. Be involved. Be loving. And, what ever you do, don’t let them think for a second that you’re not watching.

For more information about children and teens, visit:
http://www.kidschildren.com


Page 1 of 6123456»